Dog Wrestling is not My Sport

The dog wrapped herself around a little tree and I was hoping DH would get home to extricate her. She wrapped tighter and tighter. I did not want to save her, she is rough and untrained and I knew it would be hell. It was, but I got it done, it took 25 minutes, creeping across the dark yard wondering when I would step in a dog pothole and break my ankle. I made it though, and spent the rest of the time trying to unwind her while she was trying to play with me. I put her on her side a couple of times and that worked temporarily. I made it in scratched, toothed, clawed, but unbroken. Well, OK, there's a little tiny bit of blood, but I have had worse. Suffice it to say I am not a happy camper. Some of you may remember I made a little pledge to myself that Yoshi would be the last pet. Even a live mouse on the kitchen stove has not changed that. That mouse, slowed a little, I am sure, by ingestion of poison, is sitting under a cup on the kitchen floor awaiting its fate. Did you know even a slightly groggy mouse can jump pretty far off the stove, but the jump must have stunned it a little as I set a cup on top of it and there it stays. I'd let the dog take care of it, but I am afraid the mouse poison would upset her tummy. OOH I really stink now, smell a lot like a dog. Can't stand myself so as soon as the dishwasher stops, it is into the shower for me. While I was out there, I could see the headline, woman draped over dwarf crab apple tree, dead. I have imagined worse for myself!